Noah – Emerging
As I move from Shiva to Shloshim, I have been giving lots of thought to movement from one state of emotional and physical being to another. There is part of us that wants to stay where we are — and Judaism helps us to step forward.
I have taken great comfort from the story of Noah when it comes to this issue. As difficult as it was for Noah to be in the ark, it may have been even more difficult for him to emerge. Many do not know how long Noah was actually in the ark. We think about it raining for 40 days and nights, but the water needed to naturally recede once everything was destroyed. He was alone with his family and the animals for nearly a year.
I think about Noah in the ark. What must it have been like? Some Midrashim reflect on it as constant, frenzied activity caring for the animals. Others imagine him having time to reflect and think — maybe it was both. “God closed him in,” and he thought about the devastation he witnessed, the evil that led up to it, how he might have acted differently, and the responsibility to start again. I think about how hard it was for him in the ark.
In some ways, shiva has been similar — alone with thoughts and memories while surrounded with love and care. Thinking about what it means to move forward and emerge from shiva. There is an interesting detail about Noah leaving the ark (p. 48): God says to Noah, “Tze Min Ha’tevah” — Leave the ark. Shouldn’t Noah have rushed out of the ark as soon as possible? Why did God have to instruct him — in the imperative — to leave? The Midrash describes Noah as reluctant to leave the ark, afraid that his descendants would again defile God’s clean world and bring upon themselves another deluge. God must command him to leave, promising never to send another flood.
Or maybe Noah was paralyzed, thinking he could have done more. In some ways, shiva has been sitting with memories and their implications — things done and things not done — and the commandment to move out of shiva, back into the world, is so important. After shiva, you go for a walk around the block, symbolizing the return to the world — new and different.
I am moved by commentary that reflects on time in the ark, or in my case in shiva, as a chance for Noah to think about how to recreate a new world. For Aviva Zornberg, the ark — both building it and being inside — was a time for contemplation. What will I do differently? How do I want to build and respond? I am painfully aware of the toll of caring for someone with cognitive decline and the load off the shoulders as it is complete. I am passionate about creating resources and investing in research. My time in shiva will change me as I emerge — relieved, sad, passionate. The journey of emerging is figuring all of that out.
Re-emerging can be challenging. Rabbi Avi Strausberg writes, “To be created in God’s image means that we, like God, have the power to create and to recreate, to rebuild when there has been destruction… Just as God creates with wisdom out of destruction, so, too, must we build new worlds that are more just, more elevated than the ones that came before us. Just as God creates worlds built upon chesed, so, too, must we create through chesed.”
Life is about emerging. May we all help one another in these transitions.