Clergy Sermons

Shmini Atzeret Yizkor – Hostage Release

What a joy we have experienced! Watching the twenty hostages return home after 738 days has been overwhelming. We have had over two years knowing each day that hostages were suffering – it was so painful, and now it is finally over. The videos of the hostages and their families reuniting show the love, joy, and powerful excitement of dreams being realized. We will sit with and be defined by the freeing of the hostages for a long time.

And, at the same time, we feel the pain of families whose loved ones’ remains were not returned and are still missing. Layer onto this so much loss and ongoing uncertainty – and it is a lot to hold on to.

Judaism provides wisdom for a moment like this – teaching that we hold onto contrasting, conflicting, contradictory emotions all at the same time. Rachel Goldberg-Polin, mother of Hersh, who we all prayed would be released but was brutally killed, spoke to this moment. Her analogy is that Judaism teaches us how to walk a tightrope in strong winds by doing antithetical things simultaneously – weeping and celebrating; crying and dancing.

We hold together contrasting emotions. Nothing says that more powerfully than reciting Yizkor – prayers for our dead – with all of the sad emotion of loss of loved ones that creates, while simultaneously proclaiming the day z’man simchateinu – the time of our joy. That’s the Jewish way – joy and sadness weaving together. In Rachel’s words: “We have this muscle.”

Yizkor itself allows for contrasting emotions. Sometimes a memory of a loved one makes us smile and laugh. Their wisdom speaks to us. Memories and moments in life all flood into our soul and lift us up! And at the same time, we miss them. It feels so sad – often tears flow. We hold onto all of these emotions together.

As you are creating space for your personal Yizkor, weave in the contrasting emotions of this moment in Jewish history and for our community. Feel the joy connected to the release of hostages. They are home! V’shavu banim lig’vulam – They have returned to their borders. Sheila Katz, a trauma counselor, puts it this way: “Today Jews everywhere are finally exhaling. It is a relief we didn’t know we needed, a lightness we’d forgotten was possible. We celebrate life. We celebrate this deal. We celebrate today.”

We rejoice in the 20 hostages coming home – picture the reunions you have witnessed: Matan Angrest, Gali Berman, Ziv Berman, Elkana Bohbot, Rom Braslavski, Nimrod Cohen, Ariel Cunio, David Cunio, Evyatar David, Guy Gilboa-Dalal, Maxim Herkin, Eitan Horn, Segev Kalfon, Bar Kupershtein, Omri Miran, Eitan Mor, Yosef Haim Ohana, Alon Ohel, Avinatan Or, and Matan Zangauker. They are home – the empty chairs are full. We are witnessing the Berman twins, Gali and Ziv, reunited after being held captive apart from each other. We watch Avinatan Or, who was held in isolation for two years and lost 40% of his body weight, hugging his family. Story after story of heroic strength and resilience of the Israeli hostages who confronted 738 days in hell emerge. And we celebrate an enormous diplomatic accomplishment and the prospect of peace, and of the people of Gaza rebuilding – freed from Hamas control. It is z’man simchateinu – a time of rejoicing – with some hesitation.

For on this day, our joy is tempered with sorrow – people who will not come home alive. Many of the slain captives have not been returned as promised. Too many lives have been lost – almost 915 soldiers have died in the past two years – that is an unspeakably high number. Many, many thousands were wounded, some of them grievously, and have a long road ahead of them. Tens of thousands will struggle with PTSD. And the suffering of the people of Gaza is tragic. We hold onto joy and sadness together.

Rachel Goldberg-Polin captured the mood of so many of us as she expanded upon the powerful text from Kohelet that is connected with Sukkot:
“There is a time to be born and a time to die – and we have to experience both right now! There is a time to weep and a time to laugh – and we have to do both right now! There is a time to hug, and a time to hold back from hugging – and we need to do both right now! There is a time to tear and a time to heal – and we need to do both right now! There is a time to be silent, and a time to speak out – and we need to do both right now!”
And, as she herself struggled with her own tears, “There is a time to sob, and a time to dance – and we need to do both right now!”

Let’s hold onto it all with care and love. Listen again to Rachel Goldberg-Polin, who asks that as we feel joy, we also “shower compassion and grace” upon those who are in pain. And that, as we hold all the complexity, uncertainty, and confusion of this moment, we act “with delicate tenderness and holiness towards each other.”

More appropriate words for Yizkor could not be said. Memories of loved ones are almost always bittersweet. We celebrate their lives with joy and mourn their loss with sadness. Weaving in all the mixed emotions of the hostages coming home and this moment calls on us to hold contrasting emotions together at the same time. We will dance, this time with heavier hearts but also with deeper faith. We will not turn away from pain, but elevate it into purpose – for holiness dwells amidst the mingling of contrasting emotions.

Rabbi Daniel Gordis explores what rituals and prayers have changed now that the hostages are free. Many of the prayers we have been saying no longer need to be said. He suggests that the prayer for today is from the Yizkor service – the El Malei Rachamim – which captures some of the emotions and hopes of the moment, both personally and in terms of the hostages coming home.

El Malei Rachamim Shochen Bam’romim – God full of compassion, who dwells on high, grant perfect rest beneath the sheltering wings of Your Presence
among the holy and pure who shine as the brightness of the heavens,
to the souls of those we were unable to save who have gone to their eternal home, and the souls of all our loved ones whom we remember today.
Master of mercy, bring them under the cover of Your wings forever,
and let their soul be bound up in the bond of eternal life.
Adonai hu nachalatam – The Lord is their portion.
V’yanuchu b’shalom al mish’kivotahem – May they rest in peace.
And let us say, Amen.